Bic Velocity Gel Pens Review

Have you met the Bic Velocity gel pens yet? If not, you need to. Like, now. Like, yesterday. These suckers are pretty awesome.

I probably use the Velocities more than any other pen. They are my work pen of choice. Why? Because they meet all of my work pen criteria:

1. Work pens must be retractable. No caps. No leaks.

2. Work pens must be red.

3. Work pens must have a solid line that doesn't turn pink. Because pink is for girls.

4. Work pens must be semi-cheap.

5. Work pens must be comfortable.

Want to know how the Velocities stacked up against that list?

Perfectly.

My only complaint about them is that I've broken a few clips, but that's to be expected considering how often I'm clipping and unclipping them every day.

These have a molded plastic grip that is thick and easy to hold, despite its disappointing lack of squishiness. (You hear that, Bic? Lack of squishiness. Very disappointing. Do something about that.) The ridge dealio might be a little uncomfortable for anyone who grips their pens suuuuuper low, but I like that my hand isn't sliding down the pen as I write.

The color payoff on these is phenomenal, with no skippage whatsoever. The ink is bright, bold, and doesn't fade over time. There is a little bit of showthrough on crappy paper, but not enough to make the backside of the paper unusable.

The Velocities come in red, blue and black, (supposedly there are some multipacks with spiffy neon colors somewhere, but I haven't seen them) and are available in either the standard 0.7 or 1.6 "Bold" version. I haven't tried the bolds, but I'm sure they are delightfully thick and glidey for anyone who likes thick and glidey pens. (cough) The prices range anywhere from a 4-pack for $8 to a 12-pack for $6, depending on where you shop.

These are, without a doubt, my favorite work pen. What pens do you use at work?

Sharpie Clear View Highlighters Review

I don't really use highlighters. They're just not my thing. (In case you didn't know, my thing is pens. Pens and Oreos.) However, that doesn't stop me from getting all giddy and buying up highlighters when I see them.

Enter the Sharpie Clear View Highlighters.

I managed to contain myself for months (months, I tell you!) and waited for these to go on sale before I carried them home and never used them again. Ordinarily these are $6 for the 3-pack, but I snatched them up at OfficeMax for $2. Cha-ching!

The Clear View claim to fame is its super-snazzy clear tip. The idea is that you can see what you're highlighting while you're highlighting it. I know! Spiffy!

These are also semi-flat for gripability and equipped with Sharpie's exclusive Smear Guard technology.

The smear guard lied.

You can't see very well in the pictures, but everything I highlighted smeared. Gel pens? Smeared. Liquid ink? Smeared. Pencil? Smeared. Ink jet? Yep, you guessed it; smeared. Don't get me wrong; they didn't smear terribly, but if you're going to call it a smear-free highlighter, it better be smear-free. The only thing that didn't show obvious smearage was crappy ballpoint pen, and why would you need to highlight anything written in crappy ballpoint pen? You wouldn't. So we'll call this one a fail for the smear guard. (You want a truly smearless highlighter? Zebra Zazzle Liquid Highlighters are da bomb.)

While we're talking about things we don't like, have you seen the obnoxious caps on these suckers? They are obnoxious! They have this dual-cappiness that allows all the junk in your backpack to get crammed into the cap.

They also make you look like a total dweeb when you stick the cap on the end.

As highlighters, these really don't have anything to offer except for the clear tip, so let's talk about that.

The tip is clear.

Yay.

That's about it.

Now, being one of those people who gets all annoyed when I'm highlighting a word and I accidentally highlight the first half of the next word, I do appreciate that I can see what's happening on the other side of the highlighter. But, really, they're not nice enough to become a convert. They're cool and all, but you still have to do the crazy-person-head-tilt when you're highlighting, so it doesn't change the experience much. If you're geeking out over the clear tip and want all your friends to be all impressed when you whip out your chem notes, then sure, give them a go. But if you're just using your highlighter to write dirty words that glow in blacklight, skip these and buy a Zazzle.

My Pen Collection

Welcome to Hooked on Pens! You are no doubt here for some delicious pen porn. (If you are here for regular porn, I can't help you. I will, however, try to make a few penis jokes, so if that works for you, stick around.)

Behold, my pen collection:

Up until last year, my pen collection only grew by happenstance. I bummed promo pens, stole from my roommate, and nabbed a few random packs of pens every year after the back-to-school madness. Then I discovered JetPens.com and I was catapulted straight from "has a lot of pens" to "holy crap, pen fetish!"

Though I am not nearly organized enough to keep these pens separated, there are several distinct categories in my collection.

First, we have the fine-line gels. These delectable beasts lay down smooth, dark lines that are yummy enough to drool over. (Don't look at me like that. You're reading about pens, so it's not like you're normal either.) These are my favorites and I keep them close at hand.

Next, there are school pens. Yes, they are color coded. I might be a little bit of a dork sometimes.

After that, there are highlighters, most of which live in my backpack along with the aforementioned school pens.

Then we have markers...

and somewhat crappy pens I purchased in bulk. Don't know what happened to the rest of the Zebras; don't care what happened to the rest of the zebras.

Next up, we have the "why the hell not" category. This includes pens I bought because they looked cool, pens I bought because I needed pens, and pens with no functionality whatsoever that exist solely to look pretty.

After that, there's the "WTF" category. This category includes all the oddballs, from the Twizzler pen my brother gave me to the blue Staples pen of unknown origin. (Seriously though, I have no idea where that pen came from. I've never purchased a Staples stick pen, and I sure as hell never purchased five million Staples stick pens, and you know it's impossible to buy them in less than a truckload.)

Finally, I have my two fountain pens, which I am somewhat afraid to use, but they're soooo preeetttty!

To be honest, I didn't realize how extensive my collection was until I dumped them all out for your perusal. Now, I'm not about to admit how many I have, but it's definitely more than a few. (It's also more than a few times a few, but really, who's counting?) What is the status of your pen collection? Is there something missing from mine? Let me know in the comments!